dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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