Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize
