Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
