The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I think your dad took our porno
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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