Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
