A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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