You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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