sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
