I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
