At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Your cock deserves a montage
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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