$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
