Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
