Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...

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(214): View more from Texas

The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out

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(314): View more from Missouri

i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.

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(417): View more from Missouri

i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break

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(217): View more from Illinois

What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up

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(801): View more from Utah

that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow

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(770): View more from Georgia

She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower

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(518): View more from New York

I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.

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