my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
