So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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