She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
