The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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