Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
