What tipped you off? The sombrero?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
