You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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