she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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