Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
