Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
