Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
