These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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