whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
im holly from the hills drunk
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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