Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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