Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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