Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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