East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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