i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
There r osticjed everywhere
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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