I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
