He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
