Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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