Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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