90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
