Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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