Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
