I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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