i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
40s are totally the cure
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
