hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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