i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
