If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
