Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Also, beer. Big fan.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
