I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
