operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
