I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
