This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
