JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
