:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
